In a world of coaches – business, life, manifestation, sales, spirituality, nutrition, intuition, fitness and even orgasm coaches – Tam Hayward is the kind we really need right now: a self-worth and abundance coach.
Tam coaches women who struggle with low self-esteem and self-worth issues on how to embody their value, and develop beliefs deeply rooted in self-acceptance and possibility. Here, she shares with GH writer Ondela Mlandu how she empowers women to go after their dreams and fulfil their mission.
Why self-worth and abundance coaches are so important RN…
“I can’t tell you how many women out there have put their dreams on the back burner because they believe that being employed is far ‘safer’ and more ‘secure’,” says Tam. Many women are terrified to want more from life because they are so used to putting other people ahead of themselves. Women all face similar challenges when it comes to developing a healthy self-esteem. Low self-esteem infiltrates all aspects of life, including how much you’re earning, how capable you are of taking care of your own needs before meeting the needs of others, and the way in which you view yourself in relation to the rest of the world around you.
“I run a one-on-one, three-month coaching programme for women who struggle to value themselves and acknowledge their own potential. I also host a monthly membership for female business owners to access affordable, ongoing coaching support,” says Tam.
“Accessing coaching support as a business owner is often seen as a luxury, but without getting the necessary support, most of these women felt burnt out, overwhelmed and their mental health took a toll. As soon as I realised this, I knew I had to do something about it. I thought about all the women struggling by themselves late at night and I knew that if I could impact just one of those women’s lives and help her become successful, I’d accomplished my goal,” she says.
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Getting into the coaching industry…
Tam says the coaching industry is not regulated, which is both a blessing and a curse. “Anyone can call themselves a coach, even without receiving any formal training. But it’s essential that anyone wanting to get into this industry understands that you’re dealing with people and their problems,” she adds.
1/ You need to have the drive to show up daily for your clients, with empathy and an understanding of human nature. What sets excellent coaches apart from others is the aspiring coach’s interest and commitment to mastering their niche and undergoing as much training as possible to ensure they are doing no harm to their clients.
2/ I have an undergraduate degree in Psychology, which is where my training comes from. I also studied Reiki and did my Yoga Teacher Training to broaden my knowledge about Eastern philosophy. Aspiring coaches need to have a drive to learn and a hunger for knowledge about different approaches to living. This is what allows me to bring different perspectives to my coaching practice.
READ MORE: How To Succeed: Tips From A Self-Made Businesswoman
Here’s how to become an abundance coach
1/ Look to people in the industry who are already doing something in line with what you’d like to do and ask them to point you in the right direction. There isn’t a one size fits all internship for coaches because, as I mentioned, you can find a coach on any topic under the sun!
2/ Tam suggests reaching out, asking questions, seeking support and mentorship, and taking action no matter what. This industry is what you make of it. “[If you want] to become a coach, I suggest receiving coaching [yourself]. We all need a sounding board and that person we can turn to for support when the going gets tough because the going will get tough,” she says.
3/ Being a coach means you’re always giving of yourself energetically. It’s so important for aspiring coaches to have reached a point in their own personal growth where they’re able to take on other people’s ‘stuff’. “In order to coach with integrity, you need to make sure you are mentally fit and prepared,” says Tam.
Having an online presence is essential
Having a focused niche and being able to communicate what you do through your online platform will ensure people notice you. “You have got to showcase yourself as the expert and build your brand by giving your audience a feel for your personality. Your potential customers want to see the real you. Remember, you’re working with real people who have real problems that need solving,” says Tam.
READ MORE: How To Build A Solid Career In The Entertainment Industry
The truth about a start-up business…
In the first six months of running her business, Tam had two clients. Despite the slow start, she kept behaving as though she had a waiting list. “I took myself and my business seriously and dedicated my day to finding solutions to my challenges. I also learned to trust the timing of my life,” she says. When you trust yourself to make the best decisions for your business, things seem to work out, and support arrives in weird and wonderfully unexpected ways.
Most treasured life lessons
You can’t take your clients where you haven’t gone.
“Before starting my coaching business, I had a lot of personal tribulations to resolve. I had to heal the trauma of losing my folks at the age of 12. I spent 15 years running away from myself and my pain. I decided to get sober at the beginning of 2019 in order to really face my life. I had spent years numbing my pain and using substances as a coping mechanism. I knew that in order to help others heal, I needed to heal first,” she says.
Look out for yourself before looking out for others.
“This is the same idea communicated in aeroplane safety demonstrations: Put your mask on first before assisting others. In order to lead others, we first need to know how to lead ourselves,” says Tam.
READ MORE: 5 Leadership Lessons That Can Help Any Business Thrive
5 Life lessons by Tam
1/ Don’t allow anyone to tell you that you can’t do something. The world is not a scary place. When you truly believe in yourself, people are attracted to you and you will find the support to fulfil your mission. “Of course, you will come across people who don’t understand you, but that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them,” she says.
2/ Surround yourself with a tribe of people who support you. Stop shrinking yourself in places you’ve outgrown. Get really honest with yourself about which of your friends deserve a front-row seat to your life.
3/ It’s okay to let toxic, negative people go because if you keep them around, you will become one of them and in order to get what you’ve never had, you’re going to have to do what you’ve never done.
4/ The going will get tough, but you have got to remember who you are and why you started. Having a “why” will get you through the days when you don’t believe in yourself.
5/ Make peace with the fact that some days you will doubt everything. On those days, just remember that your ego is trying to trick you into staying in your comfort zone. Don’t buy into the “stories” your ego will tell you because your ego will try to convince you that you can’t, aren’t qualified, that nobody cares and that you don’t deserve to succeed.
A book every woman should read…
1/ Louise Hay: The Power Is Within You
2/ Paulo Coelho: The Alchemist
3/ Elizabeth Gilbert: Big Magic
Mindfulness and self-care
Tam uses meditation, breath work and walks as a means for self-care. “I am a highly sensitive person. This means that I’m susceptible to anxiety and picking up on other people’s emotions. It’s very easy for me to ‘take on’ other people’s stuff because I feel everything so deeply,” she says.
“Meditation allows me to separate what is mine, versus what I don’t need to carry. The breath work helps me to calm down when I start feeling overwhelmed. Walking connects me to nature, which soothes my soul and gives me perspective. Whenever I feel overwhelmed with something in my business, I go for a walk and look up to the trees. Looking up often helps us gain a new perspective,” she says.
All these practices give Tam a deep sense of connection to herself and this connection is where she can tap into her intuition and know her best way forward.
Connect with Tam…
Connect with Tam either via email at [email protected] or via Instagram Direct Message @haytamtam.
